Virtue and Vices
by beckettlovescastlealways
Summary: Kuvira knows her heart shouldn't skip at a smile and a touch. Su knows she shouldn't let herself drown in passionate green eye. Too bad neither of them are good at listening to what they should do.


**Team: Earth Kingdom**

 **Round: 5**

 **Category: Themed**

 **Prompt:** 7\. (Speech) "Say no to this"/ "Teach me to say no"

 **Word count: 2742 words**

* * *

Kuvira winces when the mascara hits her eye for the second time that night, she throws it to the table, cursing, glaring at her shaking hand as best as possible with the stinging causing tears to sprain to her eyes.

"Need some help, Kuvira?" A voice behind her asks. She snaps her eyes up to the mirror smiling at the reflection despite her nerves.

"Su," she turns to face her, rubbing at her teary eye, "Yeah, I think that'd be great."

"Little nervous, my dear?" Su laughs and Kuvira's stomach flops in her chest.

"Just a little," She nods as Su cups her jaw, easily putting the makeup on.

"Don't be. You're going to do great." Su smiles, running her finger along Kuvira's makeuped jaw. She turns Kuvira's chair to face the mirror, "What do you think?"

Kuvira hardly recognizes herself, she looks so much older than her 15 years, "I love it!"

She catches Su's gaze in the mirror, smiling proudly, her hand on Kuvira's shoulder, "You're beautiful, Kuvira." She brushes a stray hair behind her ear, "The family is here to watch you," she smiles softly.

Kuvira's own smile shifts softly, 'Don't lie, Su, they're not here for me.' She thinks, "Thank you, Su," she says, Su tightens her grip on her shoulder for a moment before removing it, "Break a leg, darling," she smiles. Then lets go, turning to face the other dancers, clapping twice, "Okay everyone, places."

Kuvira stands, ignoring the flops in her stomach and the ghost of Su's touches. She closes her eyes and sighs, she needs to stop. Nothing is going to happen, it's just a stupid crush.

•••••

"You wanted to see me, Su?" Kuvira asks, leaning on the door.

"Yes, Kuvira, come in. And sit." She motions to the couch, finishing her current piece of paperwork before grabbing a sheet on the top of a separate pile and sitting down beside her, "What's this?" She hands it to Kuvira.

Kuvira skims the paper, biting her lip before looking up, squaring her shoulders, "My application for the Zaofu guard."

"Why?"

"Why?" Kuvira's brow furrows, "What do you mean?"

"Why didn't you tell me or Baatar? Why is the first time I find out about this is when it's passing by my desk?" Su asks, resting her hand on Kuvira's arm, a frown pulling on her lips.

Kuvira makes her face blank, "Anyone 16 or older, anyone of age, can apply to join the guard. I have the skills to make it. I fail to see why this is a problem?"

"The application itself is not the problem. It's just something you usually talk to-" Kuvira physically bites her tongue, leaning away from Su's hand, her own hands forming into fists, "What's wrong, darling?" Su runs her hand along Kuvira's braid.

Kuvira shakes her head, forcing her heart not to thump wildly at the endearment, "Nothing."

Su sighs, "Come on," she puts the paper down on top of her model of Zaofu, before standing.

"What?" Kuvira frowns, looking up at Su, unable to keep her face blank.

"We are going to spar," Su smile's, grabbing Kuvira's hand, pulling her to her feet.

Less than 10 minutes later, Kuvira's wrapping her hands, "Okay, ready when you are, Su," she takes a fighting stance.

Su nods, mirroring Kuvira, "Go!"

Kuvira moves quickly, trying to get ahold of Su before she can start bending, Su grabs her wrist, pinning her to the ground, "You know, this is something you usually talk to family about, my dear."

Kuvira doesn't respond right away as Su lets her up, "I'm 16," she replies instead of her first thought of response, "Rematch."

"Kuvira," Su begins, dodging Kuvira's metal bands bent her way.

"What?" Kuvira grits out, rolling under the boulder Su bends her way, catching it and sending it back at her.

"Talk to me," Su begs, kicking the boulder into dust before binding Kuvira's wrists together with a strip of metal.

"I'm 16. Zaofu has given me everything," she bends the band away before Su can land another strike on her, "Why are you acting like it's so bad I want to give back?" Easy answer, easy lie.

"And you never thought to mention this to me or Baatar? You're part of our family, a little heads up would be nice."

Another boulder, Kuvira's too surprised to dodge in time and it sends her spiraling to the ground. She can't bring herself to care, pushing herself to her feet, "I'm not one of your kids, Su." she growls

"Kuv-"

Kuvira can't help the bitter laugh, 'Children don't feel, don't react, this way about their mothers' She sighs, looking up "I'm not a Beifong. And I'm so fucking exhausted trying and failing to be one, cause I know I'll never be one." She admits as she tightens her hands into fists, though they're done fighting, "I don't want to be one," she lies 'Please I want to stop feeling all this. Stop feeling at all.' She brushes the dust off her clothes, forcing the tears to stay in, not daring to look Su in the eye.

She hears Su take a shuffling step. She can't bring herself to look to see if the step is closer or further away from her, "Kuvira, why didn't-"

"I just-" she interrupts, "I just need some space. Some time to be less exhausted." She sighs, "I need some time to figure out who I am, because I've been lying to myself forever that I could be one. Even if you don't let me join the guard, I plan on moving out, get that space." She looks up, hoping the twisting in her stomach isn't as obvious as it feels.

Su steps forward, pulling the teenager into a hug, a few tears breaking through Kuvira's mask, "If you think you need to leave, I'm not going to stop you. But you can stay as long as you want or need. And you will have a home at the estate. Please remember that, darling."

"I will, Su, I promise." Kuvira leans into the hug for perhaps a moment too long.

•••••

She's certain her heart is audible against her ribs. She looks around the room, she can hear the whispers even now, the kindest, "An officer at 19, what is Beifong thinking?" The more prominent, however were the muttering of favoritism, through either nepotism or an affair.

She stones her face, Su doesn't care so she won't either. She shifts under the already chafing title, Captain of the Guard.

"You know, no matter how much you glare at it, you're not a waterbender, my dear, you're wine isn't going to move," Su laughs coming up behind her, resting her hand on the guard's shoulder, "Why are you brooding, Kuvira?"

"I'm not, matriarch," She shakes her head, shrugging the hand off.

"I know you well enough to know you're lying, darling." Su responds softly, Kuvira can't help but feel everyone else's eyes bore into them.

"It's nothing, Su. Leave it," she takes a drink, "Please."

Su gives her a look before nodding, "Okay, darling, if that's what you want."

•••••

Kuvira doesn't have a good feeling about this trip, she pops each finger one by one as she paces the length of the ship again.

"Kuvira." Su singsongs, "Kuvira! Captain Kuvira!" She snaps her head towards Su who's sitting on a couch in the ships lounge. Su smiles softly, "Will you sit down, you're making me dizzy."

"I don't have a good feeling about this trip," Kuvira admits sitting down next to Su.

"Don't worry, my dear. We'll be back home this time Tuesday, it's just a quick trip." Su laughs, her hand brushing along Kuvira's arm, "You worry too much, Kuvira."

Kuvira's face stays blank only by 5 years of hiding what Su's touches and laughs do to her, "I really hope you're right."

•••

The next evening, Kuvira's following Su as they walk through the shopping district of the Fire Nation Capital, "We'll have dinner

with Izumi then head home tomorrow morning."

Kuvira opens her mouth to reply, snapping it shut when she sees a glint on top of one of the nearby buildings, "Su, call me paranoid but I think-" there's a hiss and a crackle, then light is coming from the rooftop. Kuvira can't even think long enough to know what it is, just that it's dangerous, she shoves Su out of the way a split second before it hits her. Lightning. She feels it burn through her shoulder and instantly after that her every nerve is on fire. She opens her mouth to scream but she's unsure if anything actually comes out before she's falling. She blinks once as her head slams to the ground, her helmet falling off, again she forces her eyes open, and Su's overtop her, "Get down," she breaths, her eyes heavy.

"Kuvira, you're going to be fine, just hang on darling. Fight Kuvira." She hears Su order, she tries to listen, but her eyes are just so heavy, 'it'll just be a few minutes' she promises herself, letting her eyes fall shut, Su's pleading green eyes the last thing she sees.

•••••

A few months later Su and Kuvira are doing paperwork in Su's office. Kuvira's long since shed her armor, now only in a tank top and pants, her hair only half braided, clumps having fallen out around the same time her uniform came off. Su's kicked off her shoes and has her fourth, by Kuvira's count, glass of wine. After each one she moves ever closer to her Guard Captain.

Kuvira doesn't look up from the incident report, fighting back a blush as she feels Su's every touch. Taking a drink of her own glass, she dares to steal a glance at Su, a teasing smile on her lips, her hand making its way up her arm, "Su," she begs her to stop.

Stop she does, a ghost of a touch over the branched scar on her shoulder, "I should've listened to you. I hate this scar."

"That day could've been a lot wor-" she pauses as Su cups her jaw, forcing her to look the older woman in the eye.

"For a few days, I thought you were going to die, Kuvira," She takes a shaky breath, stroking her cheek, "I really don't want to imagine worse."

Kuvira takes a deep breath, jumping to her feet, "I-" she knows what she wants to say, 'I should go,' the words die on her lips, killed by the alcohol.

"Everything okay, my dear?" Su frowns.

Kuvira sighs, shaking her head, slowly sitting back down, "Yes, everything," she looks back at the door, "Everything's fine," she scolds herself, Su doesn't see this the way she's interpreting it, her stupid crush is making her imagine things.

"Good," Su nods pouring another glass of wine, this one nearly overflowing.

"Are you okay?" Kuvira frowns as Su takes a long drink.

Su smiles, "Of course, darling, why wouldn't it be?" She slurs just a bit, tilting her head to look at Kuvira.

Kuvira lets out a small snicker, "Okay for the good of the city, I'm cutting you off, no more wine or no more paperwork, take your pick."

"Paperwork it is." Su agrees, putting the pen and paper down next to Kuvira's before leaning back on the couch, resting her head on her knuckles, a small smile on her face. Kuvira looks down at her hands, trying to ignore the flipping in her stomach. She feels Su brush a section of her hair behind her ear, "There, no more hiding your beautiful eyes," she moves closer, eyes dropping just a bit lower then Kuvira's eyes.

"Su, you should go to sleep, and I should go home." Kuvira moves to stand, not trusting herself.

Su catches her knee, "If you want me to stop," she leans closer, "Say no to this," she an inch away, "And I'll stop, Kuvira."

Before she can think to do anything, Su's mouth is on her's, and despite everything in her mind telling her to stop this, she leans into the wine soaked kiss, her hand moving to rest on Su's hip. Too soon it's over and Su is pulling away, "Teach me to say no," Kuvira challenges, feeling braver then perhaps she should, guilt for a moment fading away as she moves to hold the Metal Clan Matriarch's jaw, "That is, if you want me to?"

"I don't think that's something I can justify teaching you, my dear," Su laughs.

Kuvira leans forward and captures Su's lips again, consequences be damned, if this could be her one chance, she'll take it, she decides, deepening the kiss. Su doesn't seem to mind as she begins playing with the hem of Kuvira's tank, the other tight on her upper arm. Some part of her mind hears the lock click and she can't be certain it's her or Su that does it as all she can focus on is Suyin Beifong.

•••

Kuvira winces as the light hits her eyes the next morning. Then winces again as memories of the night before hit her like a bolder. Su's bare legs are wrapped around one of her's, her arm resting across Su's chest, Kuvira's head resting on her shoulder, only a throw blanket protecting them from being totally bare to the world, "Shit," she breaths, untangling herself from Su. Looking around the room, she closes the window shades, no one should be in the meteorite garden but no need to risk it. Finding her tank top, she pulls it on.

"Su," she calls, walking around her desk, knowing Su kept painkillers in the desk, "Su!" She tries to keep her voice down, feeling guilty enough without Baatar or anyone else in the family finding out. She drops her head into her hands, trying to ignore the vomit coming up her throats as the mix of guilt and alcohol churns her stomach, "Suyin, wake up!"

Su shifts on the couch before sitting up with a groan, the blanket falling off. Kuvira dares not to look at her longer than a second, "Take two," she manages to get out, tossing the pill bottle at her. The alcohol is easier to deal with than everything else, focusing on that is the only thing that keeps her breathing.

Su seems to wake up more fully when Kuvira starts moving again, finding her pants and the paperwork they were working on before… "Kuvira," Su says, her voice too gentle and calm for what just happened. Kuvira can't breath, she has to leave, get out, find a way to fix, "Kuvira," Against her better judgment, Kuvira looks up, her hands shaking, "Talk to me, my dear," Su speaks softly, totally calm except for her eyes, Kuvira can read the maelstrom of emotions flashing in her eyes.

"Don't- don't call me that, please." Kuvira pleads the world seeming to spin around her, "I hafta go. I need to go."

"Kuvira, hey," Su's voice is calm, Kuvira can't figure out how as everything seems to be coming down, "Look at me," she tries to obey the order but she can't, she trips on the table catching herself halfway to the floor before half running out the door, ignoring Su's calling of her name, she just needs space. She just needs to think.

When she gets back to her apartment, she's barely able to grab her trash can before everything she's eaten the past day makes a reappearance, "What the fuck did I just do?" She breathes to herself, closing her eyes in the vain hope that when she opens them, this'll all be over.


End file.
